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I’m sorry

September 2, 2010

I thank my kidneys for cleaning up! I thank my taste buds for letting me taste the pleasures of the world. I thank my quad muscles for holding me up every day as I run towards answers, away from problems, or simply to forget.

I have something to admit to you all.  I have a ED.  I say this not because I have a low weight at this very moment.  In fact my weight is a little high and makes me uncomfortable.  I say this because I have been too thin.  I reached my low weight as a sophomore in high school.

Typically my ED comes back when my confidence is shaken.  I went from starving through most of high school to developing a binge eating pattern.  While I’ve never made myself sick and my binge eating is not to the extreme that a lot of people go to.  It’s still a part of my life.

In the last 6 years I can think of only three or four two month periods were my ED was not a huge part of my life.  During these times my confidence was high and I felt good about things.  One time I can think of and name for ya’ll was training for the Boston Marathon.

This summer I let my weight get higher than it’s been in a while.  Then returning to school I freaked out and found I was starving myself again.  Frustrated when I stepped on the scale and didn’t see changes.

Blog world to the rescue!

Faith Fitness and Fun started a new month-long 30 Days of Self Love.  Without question I joined.  Enter the first part of my post.  Thanks SO much Tina- this is really a GOD send.  I need this and it looks like I need you!

second I was reading The Front Burner and Emily talked about losing weight.  I do have weight I would like to use.  Once in the past I lost weight the healthy way.  I tracked my calories and weighed myself.  So when I read that Emily did this while she was losing weight it reminded me of something that you think as a RD I would know.  Calories in calories out.  Weight will come off you just have to give it time.  When you starve your body it hold onto weight.

SO I’m back but I have new plans for this blog.

One: Part of this blog will be about me getting healthy.  I want to let go of my ED.

Two: I will be keeping track of my Calories and weighing myself.  Even if that is considered questionable or obsessive.  The truth is it works.

I need you all and I need this blog to keep me from being obsessive.

and a picture of my coffee from today

This blog will focus on pretty, tasty, and healthy food.  I may not blog everyday.  Sometimes it may get obsessive and I will need to stop.  I may not blog every meal.  Sometimes I eat boring good and I like it.  Blogging boring food seems silly (as in the apple I’m eating right now).

SO thanks.  I hope we can journey to a place of confidence and health together.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. September 3, 2010 1:06 am

    Thanks for linking back! And I think wanting to overcome old demons of and ED is a perfect thign to focus on in your blog. The support of bloggers is amazing and will really help out. 🙂

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